MY DRIVE TO BE A DAD

“I had a lot of joy in my childhood. I think that's why I wanted to have a kid. I wanted to mirror the joy that I felt as a child, as a parent. “

Mobolaji Dawadu, Fashion Director at Large @GQMagazine

I don't remember when I fell in love with my daughter. Maybe I always loved her, but I fall in love with her more, the more she becomes of herself. As she gets older, I follow.  I grew up strict. I grew up in Nigeria as a kid. There's no such thing as equals with anyone older than you. She's my good friend. I'll say to her, I'm not your friend, but you are my friend.

PARENTAL GUIDES

As a dad, I have to say I studied the balance of both of my parents, my mom and my dad. I can't say that I've thought about anyone else besides my parents that I've studied becoming a parent.

There were things about my dad that I wanted to mirror more than anything, his stability. My dad was a very stable person. He was a very solid person. He was a man of his word. He did what he said he was going to do.

Mothers teach you about fatherhood because of their relationship to your father. I would say that one's idea, a strong impression marker, of one's assessment of their dads. A lot has to do with the relationship between their mom and their dad.

Despite Nigerian households being a bit strict, I can't say that I would change anything. My household was strict, but I have good memories growing up. Like, I had a lot of joy in my childhood. I think that's why I wanted to have a kid. I wanted to mirror the joy that I felt as a child, as a parent.

Being a father has taught me that you can't control another human being. Everybody's their own person. And I think that's something that fatherhood has shown me and something I have thought about and reflected on as my daughter has gotten older.

LEGACY and PRESENTATION

The most interesting thing that has happened to me since I've been alive, I would say, is my dad passing away. It was kind of unreal, but it was kind of interesting because I talked to him the day before he died. I was in Uganda, and I found out that he passed away as I was overlooking Lake Victoria, actually, literally, like on a mountain, on a hill.

Immediately, life was different. My existence was different, and life just became shorter. The idea of life became shorter, and also it became more beautiful. I realized how much I loved my dad after my dad passed away. I loved him before he passed away. But after he passed away, I realized how much I love him and how much love I have for him in the present tense, actually, and how similar I am to him. I see some of my dad's traits in my daughter. I see his calmness. My dad was very calm, and my daughter's quite calm. There is a thread of sorts.

I am my father’s son and my daughter’s father, so I am pretty intentional. As a father, presentation is very important. When I'm in the world, especially when things are being recorded, you know, everybody does what they do in their own time, but it's about showing up in the world properly for me. I always wonder, what would my daughter say, like? Would she feel comfortable saying, that's my dad over there?

Communication is key. It's important as a father to communicate with your kid. I learned that if you can have a good relationship with your parents, it is good preparation for life. That’s a foundation I want her to have.

THE TALK

I haven't really had to talk with her because I'm Black and she's Black and she by way of my behavior and by way of culture, by way of music, by way of my mom, by way of environment, I think some things she understands, you know, we talk about. I think that we exist in a very aware manner.

I don't recall having a conversation specifically about her being a young Black woman. I'm not a Black woman, so I am not qualified to speak to that part of her life experience. What I can give her is an understanding of society as a Black man and father. That is the insight and support I can give her. I leave the rest to God, faith, and knowing that I have instilled in her all that she will need to navigate.

STYLE DNA

My dad had style. My dad taught me that it was important to be cool. It's important to be fly also in presentation. My dad was the managing director of a multinational company. He always had suits, tailor-made suits. They always fit properly, were made of the finest fabrics. He taught me that it's smart to dress well and that style is about more than clothes.

Style is about how you carry yourself. Style is about how you treat others. How I move into the world. Style represents to me your taste in all the different facets of life.

 My daughter’s style. I can say that fashion-wise, she does her own thing. This generation is a lot more casual. We had a conversation the other day about sweatpants. I told her that it doesn't matter how nice the sweatpants are. It does not matter how expensive they are; they're always going to be sweatpants.

 MY DRIVE

Joy drives me. I'm just really happy to be alive. I'm happy to have the family that I do. I'm happy about the friends I have. I'm happy about all the experiences and all I've been able to do. The places I've been able to go and the people I've been able to meet.

CREDITS:

Interview: Cori Murray @corimurra

Photography: Kadeem Johnson @kjohn_lasoul 

Creative Direction: Andrew Dosunmu @shot_by_andrew_dosunmu

Editor: Oriana Soddu

 ICON MANN thanks Toyota USA and HOT 97 for their support and partnership of this 2025 Father’s Day edition..