Here's a novelty, or so society would like you to think; a Black man loving a Black woman and being devoted to family. Worse than what society falsely depicts, is its justification to do so; Black men who in career success consciously date and marry outside of their race, or Black men in notable positions (cue the rappers and athletes) who seem to have forgotten that it was a Black woman that birthed them, attended their games, and sacrificed for their success. So it was wildly refreshing and welcomed #PraiseReportWorthy when ABC Television news anchor T.J. Holmes penned a tribute to his wife. When I think on some of the healthiest, most loving relationships within my circle of friends I can't help but marvel at that ebony on ebony love! Enjoy the article below written by T.J. Holmes published at The Root. We think you'll love it as much as we do.
"It's funny that when a man hasn't anything in the world to worry about, he goes off and gets married."—Robert Frost
What the hell was I thinking? I was 31, single, making good money and living in Atlanta, a city that's been described as "happy hunting" for a single guy. I was living the life my grandfather told me to live when I was a small child: "Why get married and try to make one woman happy ... when you can stay single and make them all happy?" Granddad would have been proud.
Lately, though, I've been trying to make one woman happy. One woman. Since 2010, I've woken up to, eaten my meals with, vacationed with, had sex with, done everything with the same one woman.
As my four-year anniversary approached, I started ruminating about my relationship and wondering how we'd made it this far. Of course, four years of marriage isn't a long time, yet some don't even make it to this point, including many of my close friends. And, I'll admit to my own moments of self-doubt about how I'd handle commitment right after the glorious height of my singledom. We hadn’t had any catastrophic issues come up in our marriage, but we had dealt with living in separate cities, career changes, the birth of our daughter, relocation, as well as some other marital challenges that are par for the course.
Thing is, not only is my marriage still intact, it's actually working pretty well, and that made me uncomfortable. You see, I didn't fully understand why my marriage was flourishing, and I feared that if I didn't understand what we were doing right, how would we know what to keep doing?
Well, I think I've figured it out, and my eureka moment came just this week as I was putting together a business email. I asked my wife to review it, and she thought the tone of the email was too aggressive, confrontational and negative. She was right. Her input stopped me from making the mistake of hitting send. That innocuous example is emblematic of our entire relationship. In all I do, I have a partner looking out for me, advising me, keeping me on track and stopping me from making a mistake, no matter how great or small.
Read the rest of the article on THE ROOT where this article was originally published.